Now that the World Cup is under way just spare a thought for all those that don’t like football…….

Done that? Good now lets get back to the footy!

Sadly Englands performance on Saturday was typical of what we have come to expect. It’s not that we were all bad, far from it. But inevitably as the game draws near you scan the team and you along with friends, family, pub etc come to the reasonable conclusion that this England team is a good team and we should expect. First big mistake.

Then the match starts and whilst they started well,  you just knew two things would happen.

1. There will be an almighty mistake at some point which will cost us dearly and get the media and fans screaming – own goal, sending off due to rash challenge/retaliation/dissent etc, missed penalty, missed open goal and yes goalkeeping error.

2. Players you expect to come up with the goods, won’t! What were Rooney, Lampard, SWP up to?

And of course the conclusion is a result that yet again dissapoints an entire nation.

Of course this all usually occurs big time when we are in the knock out stages and playing Germany/Argentina/Brazil. Usually the group stages are renouned for frenetic under performance that make you wonder how these players survive the Premier League, inevitably having drawn our first two games against the likes of Albania and Malawi we end up having to win our last game just to get out the group in 2nd place – meaning we then have the unenviable task of facing a pre-tournament favourite (see above list) that’s been banging them in for fun, while the British press are conjuring up Churchillian images etc.

Whilst it’s only a matter of time before the press latch on to Zulu Wars imagery for their exaltations we can only hope that this time we’ve got all the bad calma out of the way in the first match and that having lured the opposition into a false sense of hope and security we will now go forth and inflict the heaviest defeats known while Rooney is compared to Pele.

Well here’s hoping at any rate.